Terror To Triumph
Childhood trauma is a taboo subject in that it's deeply emotional for people to learn, talk, and comprehend it. However, healing, true healing, can't come from silence. This podcast digs in to the emotions and reveals the symptoms of what can lead to childhood trauma, AND the tell tell signs that can alert us that something is wrong with the youths in our homes, schools, churches, or wherever. Whether it's physical, mental, verbal, or sexual abuse, this podcast takes a brave head on approach to tackle the difficult subject matters while providing the audience a platform to vent, and reach out for help.
Terror To Triumph
Understanding Trauma Responses
Okay. It should start in a couple seconds. Sorry, I'll just wait on the computer to roll it up.
SPEAKER_02:You don't know where it's going to be.
SPEAKER_01:Co-host Storm. Lord have mercy. I'm having all kind of debobulations and contribulations tonight. Sorry about that. Hello, Storm. How you doing tonight? I'm fine.
SPEAKER_00:How you?
SPEAKER_01:I'm okay. I'm okay. We both hope you made it through the holidays. We know they're hard for survivors. We talked about that in our last episode, how to survive the holidays, how to set boundaries, and how to protect your peace. Tonight we're moving into something different, but equally important. We're answering the why questions. Why does your body freeze when you're scared? Why do you have nightmares? Why can't you concentrate? Why do certain things trigger you back into panic? Why do you feel disconnected from your body? Understanding the neuroscience of trauma is powerful because when you understand why your body does what it does, you stop blaming yourself. You stop thinking you're broken and you start understanding yourself with compassion. You ready? Yes. You ready, Storm, for this breakdown?
SPEAKER_00:Yes, let's do this breakdown. Let's start with the basis. When you yes, when you let's start with the basis. When you experience trauma or perceive or drink, your brain does not respond the way you may think. Your brain has three major, three main parts that matters here. The reptilian brain, the brain stem. This is the oldest part of the brain. It controls basic survival functions, breathing, heart rate, sleep. This part doesn't think, it just reacts. The lymbodic system, the emotional brain. This is where your this is this is where your lives, this is where the ammo amd dollar. The amygdala is your alarm system. The prefrontal cortex, the dancing brain. This is the newest part of your brain. It's where logic, reaching, and decision making happens. It's the part that can say, wait, let me think about this. Here's what's critical. When trauma happens, your amadella hijacks your brain. Your amidella detects the drip, it sends out alarm. Okay. And your prefrontal cortex, your danking brain goes offline. You can dig clearly, you can't reason, you can only survive. This is called the amidelic hijacking, and it's a survival mechanism in a life adreatening situation. You don't have time to dink. You have to react. But here's the problem: after the trauma is over, your amidella can stay activated, it can stay in alarm mode, and your profonal cortex stays offline. So you're stuck in survival mode even though the dread is gone. This is why trauma survivors struggle with concentration and memory, decision making, emotional.
SPEAKER_01:I apologize. We are experiencing some technical difficulties tonight. Storm's video seems to have paused for a moment. We're gonna see if we can get her back.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, sorry for that, fam. A little internet problem on this side. Thank you for remaining here. Like we like said, your brain is literally in a different state than someone who has experienced trauma. The Amadilla is constantly scanning for danger, it's hyper-vision, is saying, where's the drip? Where's it coming from? How do I stay safe? And because your danking brain is offline, you can talk yourself down, you can rationalize, you can, you're just stuck in the fear. So, Alfonso, trauma doesn't just affect your emotion, it changes your brain function. So, how do you feel about this?
SPEAKER_01:I can honestly state that uh there have been times when I was confronted in situations where my thinking froze. Like I could see what's happening, but like my heart rate increased, you know, I I might stop breathing for a second, and it's like I'm bracing for impact, but it's not that type of situation, but still I can uh I can see myself trying to work through the situation, but I know what I want to say, sometimes the words don't come out right. Sometimes I might blurt out something that makes no sense whatsoever, but I'm I'm still trying to remain in the moment, but it seems like the moment is escaping me, or I'm escaping the moment. I can't stay focused in the moment. So, yeah, that that type of response is exactly what you're talking about. This is this is this is something that's very, very, very uh problematic for us survivors. Back to you, all right.
SPEAKER_00:So, as we move along into segment two, the four trauma responses. Okay, so your brain is in alarm mode. Now, what does your body do? This is where you fight, flight, freeze, or flown. Responses come in. There are four ways your nervous systems try to protect you when it perceives a dread. And here's the thing you might experience all four in different situations, or you might have one primary response. Fight response. Fight is exactly what it sounds like. Your body prepares to confront the dread, your muscles tense, your fists clench, you feel angry or aggressive. For survivors of abuse, fight can look like yelling or screaming, physically defending yourself, becoming argumental or combated, rage or intense anger. That's the thing about fight, it's often response that get judged the most. People see anger and think that you are the problem, but anger is your nervous system saying, I'm not going down without a fight. Flight, which is another response, is flight is the body urged to escape. Your legs feel ready to run, your heart is racing, you want to get away. For survivors, flight can look like running, limbingly or figurative, figurative, figuratively, excuse me, people, avoiding situations that remain remind you of the trauma, constantly moving or restlessness, difficult staying in one place, leaving relationships when they get close. Flight is about creating distance, your nervous system saying, I need to get out of here. Then you have freeze. Freeze is when your body literally can't move, you're paralyzed. Your mind is erasing, but your body is stuck. For survivors, freeze can look like feeling unable to move or speak during trickling moments, disassociation, feeling disconnected from the body or going numb, feeling difficulty taking action, even when you want to, feeling stuck in relationships or situations. Freeze is often misunderstood. People think you're not trying hard enough or being passive, but freeze is a survival mechanism. Sometimes playing dead is the best strategy. It is what some animals do that can't fight or flee. From response, front is the response where you try well, you try to please the drip. You become a people pleasing, you try to make other people happy so that they won't hurt you. For survivors, front can look like over-apologizing, always putting other needs first, difficult saying no, trying to be perfect to avoid criticism, staying in harmful relationships because you're trying to fix them. From is about control, Drew, compliance. Your nervous system is saying, if I'm nice enough, maybe they won't hurt me. Here's what's important to understand, fam. These responses are automatic, they happen in milliseconds. You don't choose them, your nervous system chooses them based on what it thinks will keep you safest. And difficult situations trigger different responses. You may freeze with one person and fight with another. You may frown in one situation and flee in another. None of these responses are wrong, they're all survival strategies. And understanding which one is your help, you understand yourself. Your trauma response is not a character flaw, it's your nervous system doing its job. Alfonso, which one of these responses r resonate with you the most? And do you have a primary response?
SPEAKER_01:I think several of these target me, or well, not target me, but explain part of me. One that I just talked about was the freeze response, where I I tense up. So it's like I have part of the fight response because my adrenaline is running and I tense up. Like I don't know what's about to happen, but you know, I get ready to like do whatever I need to do to protect my myself. But at the same time, I'm frozen, like I can't get away from the situation. My mind is racing, I can't think straight. And then there's the fun response, I think, would be a part of my trauma response. Uh I overapproach and the people always say, You always saying sorry, you always saying sorry, that's part of it. So sometimes way of you know trying to not have any conflict. I do have problems saying no to people. I try to do every thing I can so I won't be exercising responsible. Uh but it's another people pleaser. They want me to be though, just so I can there would never be any issues. That that's that's what I resonate with the most, those. One of the most frustrating things about trauma is the inability to concentrate. Trying to try and have a conversation, and your mind just won't focus. Here's why when your nervous system is in threat mode, your brain prioritizes survival over everything else. Your prefrontal excuse me, your prefrontal cortex, the part that handles concentration, memory, and learning is offline. Yes, your acdola. That that word always trips me up too. I just learned that trying to say it right, and I'm still messing it up. So excuse me, you know. I'm trying to get the word right. Your Ag McDollar. Ag McDollar. I'm McDollar. I McDollar. That's what it is. I'm McDollar. Okay. It's running the show.
SPEAKER_05:That part of your brain is just asking what is this even or what did my boss just tell me?
SPEAKER_01:It isn't scanning for danger. Your brain thinks survival is most important. But it said I'm guilty of that. You space out in conversations. I'm guilty of that. You start tasks but can't finish them. That's off and on. You have trouble learning new things, and I never had a problem with that. But I imagine some people would. Your memory feels foggy. Yeah, that's me. You forget appointments or commitments. That's definitely me. You lose track of time. That's me. See, there's even one other thing. Like, if your memory, if you're missing stuff, you forget stuff too. Like, I forgot where I put my keys, or I forgot where I put my wallet, I forgot where I put my purse or my phone, or I left my phone at home and stuff. That's classic me, straight up. But that's all a part of what we're talking about here. This is not laziness, this is not stupidity. This is your nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do. Keep you alive. The sign behind it in survival mode, your brain releases stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones are designed to help you survive immediate danger, but they also impair your ability to form new memories and concentrate on the task. Excuse me. On the task. Your hippocampus, the part of your brain responsible for memory, literally and actually shrinks. It shrinks under chronic stress or it gets smaller. That's why trauma survivors often have memory problems. This is how you work with it. First, you give yourself some grace. Your brain is working overtime. You break smaller tasks into smaller chunks. Your attention span is limited right now, so you have to take on little bites at things. Eliminate distractions. Your brain is already distracted by internal threats. Gotta use grounding techniques before trying to concentrate. Have to calm your nervous system first. Don't expect to function at a hundred percent. You're operating at maybe sixty-seventy percent capacity. That's okay. Try to write things down, use reminders, use tools to compensate for the memory issues like sticky notes or something like put it in your inner buzz when you need to do something. The good news is as you heal and your nervous system calms down, your concentration will improve. Your brain can heal. Brain fog after trauma is not a character flaw. It's a system. No, it's not a system, a symptom of your nervous system being in survival mode. Storm, have you ever experienced?
SPEAKER_00:I have always tend to be in survival mode in different situations. But like you say, you know, as we move through time, you know, and give ourselves grace, you know, we can get through this because that's what derpy do. You know, you still have to seek out derpy from time to time. I would say, you know, to my general audience, you know, you get the help that you need. Because even though you probably had some help in the past, you still need help in the future because it's things that still can trigger your traumas, and you got to be ready for them people. Just always remember, you know, seek our derpy help because it's what you're gonna need to survive. I hear trauma is real, it's every day, it's 24 hours a day, it's worldwide, it's from continent to continent. So, you know, it's it's not it's not good at all. But talking to a derp is it helps me get through everything that I need to get through. That to you, Alfonso.
SPEAKER_05:I agree, I agree.
SPEAKER_01:I think as a survivor, we experience these things as th danger or a threat of danger. We can sometimes be in the middle of a conversation and perceive something said to be threatening or be joking with some some people and think that one of the jokes was a threat to you or targeting you. The fact that you're around others while this is going on may compound that situation in your mind. So there's a lot packed into this situation as far as these these type of responses and how we literally react to them. So if you ever find someone you you talking to and all of a sudden they seem like they're becoming guarded or combative or maybe reactive to what the conversation is, like, whoa man, I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't trying to that may be that person going through that trauma response. It's like a red flag to look for. So yeah, you know, these are some things that I have experienced, and I'm sure some of the survivors out there listening to this have also experienced these similar things. Back to you, Storm.
SPEAKER_00:All right, beginning with segment four nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive doubts. One of the scariest parts of trauma recovery is nightmares. I can contest to that. You finally are asleep, and then suddenly you're back into trauma. Your heart is racing, you're grasping forever, and it feels so real. Let me explain what happens. Nightmares. During the sleep, your brain is processing the days experience, it's falling things away, making senses of things, but when you experience trauma, your brain gets stuck on it. Your amandella is still in alarm mode. So do during real sleep, the stage where dreaming happens, your brain relock replays the trauma. It is trying to process, it is trying to make sense of it. But because of your profonal cortex is offline during sleep, you can't rationalize it. You can't tell yourself, this is a dream, I'm safe. You're just experiencing the terror all over again. Nightmares are your brain way, your brain's way of trying to heal, but they're exhausting. And they keep you from getting the rest you need. Some survivors are more asleep because they're afraid of nightmares. This creates a vicious cycle of lack of sleep, makes your nervous system more dregulated, which makes the nightmares worse. Now you have a flashback. A flashback is when something triggers you and suddenly you're back in the trauma, not remembering it, actually experiencing it. Your body is reacting if it's happening right now. This happens because of something called state dependence memory. Your brain stores traumatic memories difficultly than regular memories. They're restored with all sensor details. The smell, the sounds, the physical emotions, the physical sensation. So when you encounter something that reminds your brain of the trauma, a smell, a sound, a similar situation, your brain goes into full alert. It's not a choice, it's automatic. During a flashback, your heart races. You may sweat or shake. You feel the you feel some fear you feel during the trauma. You may lose track of where you are. Time feels distorted. Flashbats can last seconds or minutes, and they're terrifying because they feel completely real. Now you have intrusive doubts. These are unwanted doubts that pop into your head. They often violate, disturbing, or shameful, and they feel like you are coming out of nowhere. Intrusive doubts happens because your brain is trying to process the trauma once again. It is replaying it over and over, trying to make sense of it. The doubts may the doubts feel like they mean something about you, but they don't. They just your brain's way of processing. Common intrusion doubts for survivors, replaying the trauma over and over. Imagine the worst case scenarios, doubts of self-harm of suicide, violent or disturbing images, shame-based doubts. It was my fault. I'm dirty, I'm broken. These doubts don't define you. They're symptoms of trauma, not reflections of who you are. And this is how you cope. Groaning techniques help you bring bring you back to prisons, derpy, especially M EMDR and trauma folks, CBT, can help process these memories. Medication can sometimes help with nightmares. Sleep hygiene practices can improve sleep quality. Remind yourself this is a memory not happening now. I'm safe. Nightmares, flashbacks, and intuition doubts are not signals, you're not going crazy. There are signs of your brain trying to heal. So, Alfonso, have you experienced these? What have been your experience with these?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Yeah, I experienced uh replaying the trauma over and over.
SPEAKER_01:It's like uh the part where it said invasive thoughts where things will come back into your head about the scenario and trying to force it out of your mind, like you're trying not to think about it, you try to focus on something else. Then yeah, the imagining the worst case scenarios. I mean, but it ain't like you just sitting down, you got time to think. It's like this stuff happens fast. Like you could be walking down the street. What if this guy tried to do this? What can I do? I'ma I'ma grab this and I'ma do. You know, it your mind is racing thinking about every single problem that could be, even though it's not a threat. I mean, your mind is buzzing, literally. Back closer to when the trauma happened in my life, I had a lot of thoughts of self-harm and suicide. A lot, a lot. I almost tried it once. If it wasn't for next door neighbor catching me about to jump off the roof, you know, I wouldn't be here today. So yeah, and the the other one, the shame-based thoughts. Oh Lord. How many times I done walked into a room full of people where they don't even I instantly started thinking about what I've been through. These people looking at me, how they thinking about me. No, no, no, it's it's it's shame that that plagues you, you know. It was my fault. You know, because I'm the one that did this that caused that to happen. You blame yourself, blame yourself, blame yourself. And then you think everybody else is gonna browbeat you or talk badly about you or dismiss you, you know, based upon so yeah. I'm just swimming in this stuff. This is hot. And um I'm gonna use some of these techniques, the grounding techniques, to try to calm myself the next time my mind starts racing like that. I'm gonna use this stuff because this is some good information right here. With that, we're gonna go off into the next segment.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, also remember, you know, my general audience that you can do uh lavender tea to you know calm down to help you calm and sleep.
SPEAKER_06:That's you, Alfonso.
SPEAKER_01:Um, lavender tea. I I heard uh chamomile was good too.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, very common.
SPEAKER_01:I need to try one of those. Which one do you prefer?
SPEAKER_00:The camel the chamomile is for relaxation, the lavender tea is more like for sleep, you know. It's it helps to aid in you sleeping, especially if you have a nightmares and triggers.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay, that makes sense. I think I would go with the chamomile then because I'm that's my thing. I need to calm my mind down most of the time. Yes, invest in some of that for myself. I've seen some of your podcasts on uh TikTok, and you talk a lot about self-help and stuff like that. So for anybody who doesn't know, they need to go on TikTok and look up Diamanda, and she talks about self-help and remedies and and natural herbs and stuff that you can use to help yourself calm down and relax yourself. You know, she talks about the breathing techniques that we brought up here of the 4444 box breathing and the 54321 look-see. Can't remember all of them, but it's it's like find five things that you can see, four things that you could touch, so on and so forth. But these are things to get your mind off the trauma. And uh she is very good at what she does because you can go on TikTok and check her out. What times do you uh go on TikTok, by the way?
SPEAKER_00:I'm at seven o'clock in the morning central standard time and eight p.m. at night central standard time, and on the weekend I do 11:30 a.m. Central Standard Time.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so there you have it, folks. If you um you want to go outside the podcast and find a way to calm yourself down or find some different methods of self-help, you can always check out Diamanda on her TikTok page. We are going off into triggers and why certain things set you off. You're doing fine, you're managing, and then something happens a smell, a sound, a certain type of person, and suddenly you're in full panic mode. Why triggers are anything that reminds your nervous system reminds your nervous system of being no excuse me, your nervous system all right? Your nervous system has a long memory. Yes, here's how it works. When you're yeah, okay. Here's another thing me and uh had talked about this one here. We talked about language barriers with trauma survivors. That's gonna be another show altogether, but as trauma survivors, and we are talking about how stress and all these other things bring out these responses that we have, speech is impaired as well, along with the stress situation. So you'll find us getting tongue-twisted, messing up words, you know, when we're not stressed or trying to talk when we're relaxed, we speak more clearly. So this this platform, you're catching everything, it's all live and all recorded. As we mess up, you're seeing part of our trauma come through. And I just wanted to let you guys know that both of us, Storm and I, are both survivors, and this is part of what we've been dealing with all our lives. After the trauma, we've been dealing with certain issues trying to normalize. Well, okay, now that was a sidebar. Let me get back to what we're talking about. When you experience trauma, your brain encoded everything about that experience. Not just the main event, but all the details, the smell of the room, the time of day, the type of person who hurt you, the weather, the sound of their voice, everything. Your brain did this as a survival mechanism. It was trying to help you recognize danger in the future. If you see these signs, get away. But the problem is your brain can always distinguish between the actual threat that reminds you of the threat. So you might be triggered by a certain smell, along with alcohol, food, a certain tone of voice. I actually heard a guy saying he hates you you might think this is strange. You remember the Allstate commercials and uh the tall black gentleman that used to do the Allstate? He had that really, really deep voice. Yes, I can't I can't mimic his voice. But over there, Allstate. I can't I can't remember the voice, but a guy told me he said, I can't stand this guy, I can't stand him, I can't stand. I was like, why? Because he reminded me somebody and he sounded just like him. I didn't go into detail back then because I didn't understand what I understand now. But he was triggered by that that sound of that voice, and every time that commercial played, it triggered him. He's a real things, people. That that was a red flag I didn't understand back then. Okay, moving on, a certain type of body or appearance, a certain time of day or season. I knew a woman who really hated winter season. That was a whole other thing. She got flustered and up. I thought it was the holidays, but I think it was something more learning about more things like this. A certain location or type of building. A certain type of situation. Like being yelled at or being touched unexpectedly. Being in a car, being in a crowd. Even a certain word or phrase. Holidays or anniversaries, again, that goes back to the other thing. Songs or music. Yeah, those can be triggering. When you're triggered, your nervous system goes into the same state it was in during during the trauma. Your heart starts to race, your beating becomes you might freeze, fight, flight, or fawn. And it all feels completely real. It's like the danger is happening right now. What's important is you're not overreacting. Your nervous system is reacting appropriately to what it perceives as a threat. The trigger might seem small to someone else, but to you and your nervous system, it's a red alert. This is why people say things like, Why are you so upset? Or it's just a smell. They don't understand that your brain has connected that smell to a danger. Here's how to work with the triggers. First, we identify what they are. What specifically triggers you? You have to be specific and write them down. So that means you gotta keep like a little notepad, something similar to this. I keep this with me, and I write down everything. And as you might think there ain't nothing in this, this stuff all up in here. I'm not gonna show you everything, but this is almost filled up. But keep that on you. Write down whenever you start to feel something a certain way, and that helps you keep track of things. Avoid those things when possible. Like when you start to feel yourself triggered and you write it down and you know what was triggering you right then, start avoiding that. If certain situations trigger you, don't put yourself in those situations unnecessarily. When I mean by unnecessarily, I mean like say it's somebody at your job that triggers you. You can avoid your job, but you can't limit the time that you have around that person. If you have to work with them closely, maybe ask for a different partner or something like that. See if you can switch up. You know, there's ways around it. Prepare for them. That means prepare yourself for the trigger. If you know you'll encounter a trigger, prepare yourself. Use the grounding techniques beforehand, process them with the therapist. You can work on desensitizing yourself to triggers over time. I haven't gotten to that part yet with my therapist. I can't wait. Yeah, I'm smiling because I'm like, yeah, that's good. Yes, okay, yes. I know that's all right.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's coming, it's coming. I'm I'm gonna say, get ready, get ready.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. I can't wait, really. I'm I'm excited. I'm excited to learn something, get rid of some of this stuff. Another thing is be compassionate with yourself. Triggers are not your fault. Communicate with safe people, let them know what triggers you so you can so they can support you. Unlike my past, where I didn't have a safe person. I I did have some people I thought I could talk to about my trauma, but later on in life I found out that they had their own trauma. So they weren't willing to share or talk about that too much, so I couldn't continue to keep coming to them. And because my family situation, and all of us have experienced childhood abuse in various ways, we all kind of don't talk to each other about that, and that's caused us to be a little estranged from each other, some more so than others, like me, because I uh yeah. Well, I'm not gonna go too deep into that tonight, that's a whole nother thing. So, triggers are not weaknesses, they're evidence that your nervous system is protecting you, and with time and healing, their power diminishes.
SPEAKER_00:Well, a long time ago, before I got help, my triggers was I didn't care about the sun, I didn't care about the daylight hours. I got stuck on it being rainy. I love the rain, I love the winter, you know, you know, I loved it for it to just be startled, quiet, and dark because it was in the light of the day when everything happened. So seeing the sunlight, seeing the light of the day is what triggered me, you know. I didn't care for sunlight, I didn't care about when I sat to play, isolating myself. But once I got help, you know, I was able to enjoy the daylight again, but I cared more about it being a rainy, gloomy day. And I was like, when it was raining, people like, what you happy about? And I'm like, Yeah, you know, you know, enjoy the weather, you know, and it was raining and gloomy, and people didn't like it, but I was liking it because I felt like I was safe because the sunlight was a danger to me.
SPEAKER_01:I understand that. Y'all know it might be a little strange, but I don't like bathrooms. That's where my trauma happened.
SPEAKER_05:It was in the bathroom. To this day I don't like bathrooms.
SPEAKER_01:I force myself to use them, but I do not like being in them.
SPEAKER_05:That's something I'm gonna have to talk to my therapist about.
SPEAKER_01:We're going into sections, I mean segments.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, uh, disassociation and feeling disconnected. Sometimes after trauma, you feel you're watching your life from outside of your body. I can contest to that, or you feel numb, or you feel like nothing is real. This is called disassociation. Disassociation is a protected mechanism. When pain or fear becomes too much, your mind literally disconnects from your body. It's like your mind is saying, This is too much. I'm going to step back. What disassociation can feel like? Feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside of your body, feeling norm or emotionally flat, feeling like the world isn't real, this realization, feeling like your body isn't yours, depersonalization, memory gaps, a lost time, feeling detached from your emotions, feeling like feeling like you're in a dream of a frog, which I can contest to that, not recognizing yourself in the mirror, feeling disconnected from conversations happening around you. This association exists on a spectrum. Everyone disassociates a little bit sometimes, like when you're driving and suddenly realize you don't remember the last few miles. But for trauma survivors, disassociation can be more frequent and more intense. When it happens, disassociation is in your mind, it's way of protecting you from overwhelming pain. Doing trauma disassociation might help save your life and allow you to survive sometimes unbearably by stepping outside of it. Your mind says, if you stay fully present in the body while it's happening, I won't survive. Um I'm going to disconnect. But after the trauma, disassociation can be a habit. Your nervous system learns that when things get hard, you disconnect. So keep doing it. Even when you're safe, the problem with disassociation, while disassociation protects you in the moment, it also keeps you stuck. You can't process the trauma if you're disconnected from your body. You can't heal if you're not present. And disassociation can interfere with your life. You miss important moments, you struggle to connect with people, you feel like you're not really living, you have trouble making decisions, you feel like you're passing, you are passing you by. How to work with disassociation? Grinding techniques are essential. The 54321 technique: cold water on the face, holding ice, feeling your feet on the ground. These bring your body back. This brings you back to your body. Moment helps dance, stretch, walk, run. Moment reminds you that you're in your body. Movement, I'm sorry, movement reminds you that you're in your body. Sensor experiences, strong taste, sour candy or peppermints, strong smells, essential oils, coffee, textures, so a blanket, a rough stone. Work with trauma informed derpist. Derp is like EMDR, symptomatic experiences, and sensor motor, psychopherpy, or specifically designed to help with disassociation. Specifically designed to help with disassociation. Thank you. Be patient with yourself. Disassociation is survival skills. You're not broken. You're learning a new way to be present. Practice mindfulness, even five minutes a day of being present in your body. Disassociation is your mind's way of saying this is too much. And that's okay, but healing means learning to be present again, even when it's hard. Alfonso, have you experienced disassociation and what helps you come back to your body?
SPEAKER_01:Honestly, talking about this tonight, I disassociated during this conversation right here. I ain't gonna lie. As soon as we started talking about the dissociation part, my mind drifted. Like, whoop, I didn't want to. My mind was like, I ain't trying to oh my god. But I was like, wait a minute, what am I doing? I'm on I'm on live.
SPEAKER_04:I gotta come back. I'm on live.
SPEAKER_01:Man, so I mean, literally just then, I was like drifting, like it wasn't like the sleep thing, it was exactly what you was talking about for real.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, you did it just now. I did it earlier.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, we talking about some serious effort, and my therapist noticed me. He's like, What happened just now? And I was like, What do you mean? And she brought me back to the present. My mind was like somewhere else because we was I'm some real stuff, and my lock. I ain't trying to talk about this. You trying to do the mind ready for this now. We was on live space. Kevin Spacey, yes, Kevin Spacey. I was out there. So uh yeah, when we talk about some serious stuff, it get real, you know. It's not it's not, you know, something to play with, but it's it's a real thing. When you feel like a situation is getting too tough for you, or or your mind is saying you're it's getting to a point where you can't deal with it, then you space out. And I have been experiencing this a lot, especially when when I'm talking to my therapist or discussing certain serious things concerning this trauma that I'm in I have endured. So I understand anybody else who would dissociate from a conversation concerning that. So if you're a survivor and you're experiencing any of this stuff, this stuff helping you, please, please, please, by all means use the tools that we're providing for you tonight or in any other podcast that we've broadcast out there. Yeah, do do us a favor if it's helping you, any of the tools or the methods that we've presented to you help, then use them and come back to us. Go to terror the number two triumph at gmail.com. Reach out to us, let us know that hey, this stuff is working. Let us know if if we should continue in this path of trying to divulge this information. We're finding it out so we can spread it out to everybody who needs it. Not just me, not just Storm. We we're doing this as like a selfless act trying to help others. Let me stop there because you know I can go on and on about this. But we got a time frame. We only got like three minutes left, and we have a couple segments left. So let's try to hurry up and go through these so we can finish out the episode tonight. Segment seven is about understanding stops self-blame. Here's what I want to land on understanding the neuroscience of trauma is transformative because it shifts the narrative from what's wrong with me to what happened to me. For years I've blamed myself for my trauma responses. I thought, why can't I concentrate? Something must be wrong with me. I must be stupid or something. Or why do I freeze when I'm scared? I'm I'm like I'm a sucker, I'm a punk or something, you know. No, I'm weak. Why do I have nightmares? You know, something, you know, just mentally unstable. You know, what's up? What nightmares? Or said this, but this might be something that you could say. Why do I fun and people please? I must be pathetic. Now to be clear, even though I did those things, I didn't never ask until later on why. You know, I never questioned it until later on in life. I mean like decades later. Because I didn't understand I was doing it in the meantime. Why can't I just get over it? You know, why can't I get over the trauma? Everyone else seems to be fine. But when I understood that these responses are neurological, that my brain is literally wired differently because of trauma, things changed. I wasn't stupid, my prefrontal cortex was offline. I wasn't weak. My nervous system was protecting me through the freeze response. I wasn't broken. My brain was doing exactly what it was designed to do, trying to process and survive. I wasn't pathetic. Fawning was a survival strategy that kept me alive. This shift is crucial because when you blame yourself, you stay stuck in shame. Shame keeps you isolated. Shame keeps you from healing. Shame tells you you're the problem. But when you understand the neuroscience, you can have compassion for yourself. You can say my nervous system is doing its job. Now I need to help it learn that I'm safe. Understanding also helps you stop expecting yourself to function normally when your brain is in survival mode. Yeah. You're not normal right now. You have to realize that. You know, your mind is functioning differently than normal minds. So until you've corrected that, you have to expect to think differently, act differently. Your body to react differently. You have to set realistic expectations for yourself. Ask for help. Without shame. Work with your nervous system instead of against it. Celebrate the small wins instead of beating yourself up. I said that before. Celebrate the small wins. You have to instead of beating yourself up for not being fixed yet. Like it's not gonna happen overnight. It's a process, but it can happen. Recognize progress even when it feels slow. Be patient with your healing journey. Wow, this seem like I just repeat it myself just in. You gotta be with yourself. Take time with yourself. Here's the truth you're not broken. You're not sensitive. You're a survivor. Nervous system is doing exact everything it can to keep you alive. Your brain adapted to survive trauma. And now with understanding and support, your brain can adapt again to heal. That deserves respect. That deserves compassion. That deserves celebration. The shift is from what's wrong with me to what happened to me and how do I heal. From I'm broken to I'm healing. From I should be over this by now to healing takes as long as it takes. From I'm weak to I survive. And that takes incredible strength. This understanding is the foundation of healing. It's the shift that everything is going to change, and it changes everything. Understanding trauma neuroscience is the antidote to self-blame. It's the shift from shame to compassion, and that's where healing begins. How did the understanding rather the neuroscience change your relationship with yourself?
SPEAKER_00:From I'm broken to I'm healing, you know, because I felt that I was broken. And then when I got derby, you know, that's when I really just started to heal. Because I really wasn't healing. And that's when I basically started healing, but it took time. Like you said, nothing takes overnight. This is not a night light. It takes time, and you still go through stuff from time to time because there are still triggers, but you tell yourself, you know, you have to talk to yourself, and you have to say, you know, I am safe. You have to ground yourself, like you say, get on top of the ground. And sometimes you have to wake up out of your sleep and touch that flow, you know, to let yourself know I'm safe, I'm in a safe place. So, yes, it's real.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, we're moving on into segment eight.
SPEAKER_00:Moving towards all right, moving toward healing. Okay, so now that you understand why your body does what it does, now what? How do you actually use this knowledge to heal? Understanding is step one, but understanding is step one, but healing requires action. Step one, validate your response. Now that you know your trauma response are neurological, validate them, validate them, stop fighting them, stop judging them. When you freeze, say my nervous system is protecting me. That's okay. When you have a nightmare, say my brain is processing, that's a part of healing. That's a part of healing. When you are when you're a trigger, say my nervous system recognizes a dread, I can handle this. When you disassociate it, say my mind is protecting me, I can come back when I'm ready. Validation doesn't mean you like to respond, it means that you accept when I shine. Step two, work with your nervous system. Your nervous system learns to be in survival mode. Now you need to teach it that you're safe. This happens through grinding techniques. Bring yourself back to the present. Movement, processing trauma stored in your body, connection, showing your nervous system that relationships can be safe. Derpy, rewind your brain with professional support, time, healing is not fast, but it's real. Self-compassion, treating yourself with kindness. Step three: Build newer patways. Your brain has learned certain patterns, but neuroplastic plasticity means your brain can learn new patterns. Every time you grind yourself instead of disassociating, stay present instead of fleeting. Speak up instead of frowning. Feel your feelings instead of norming. Trust yourself instead of doubting yourself. Choose healing over survival. You're building new normal pathways, you're rewiring your brain. It's a slow work, but a real work. Step four: be patient with process. Trauma rewire your brain. Healing takes time to rewire it again. Don't expect to be fixed in a few weeks. Don't expect to never be.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I'll try to pick up where uh she left off. Don't expect to be fixed in a few weeks. Don't expect to never be triggered again. Don't expect to function perfectly. Expect progress. Expect setbacks. Expect a nonlinear journey. Some days will be better, some days will be worse. That's normal. That's healing. And celebrate every moment you handle something differently. Every moment you choose healing over survival, every moment you trust yourself. 5. Get professional help. Understanding the neuroscience is powerful, but healing requires professional support. A trauma-informed therapist can help you. Can help you process the trauma stored in your nervous system, can help you learn specific techniques to calm your nervous system, can help you rewire your brain through evidence-based therapy. Professional support is not a luxury, it's essential. Build your support system. Healing does happen in isolation. You need people who believe you support you. Don't minimize your experience. Understand the trauma. Find people, find your people. Lean on them. Let them help. Practice self-assion is step seven. This is the most important step. Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you talk to a friend. When you're struggling, say, I'm doing the best I can. Healing takes time. I'm proud of myself for showing up. I deserve compassion. Self-compassion is the foundation of healing. The first step. Taking action to heal is the next step.
SPEAKER_05:You're capable, but no.
SPEAKER_01:What's the action you're going to encourage listeners to take this week? To work with their nervous system. I encourage everybody to take every action that you can. Follow the steps to ground yourself. Follow the steps to make sure that you're okay when you're disassociating or when you're finding yourself being triggered. We're going to go into the call to action tonight, and that is tonight we've broken down the neuroscience of trauma. We've explained why your body does what it does, and we've talked about how understanding this stops the self-blame. Here's what we want you to do. We want you to identify your response. Which of the four responses flight, fight, freeze, fawn, is yours. Write it down. Understand it. Even if it's more than one. Identify your triggers. What specifically triggers you? Be specific and write them down. Practice one grounding technique. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique or the box breathing. Notice what helps your nervous system calm down. Stop blaming yourself. Every time you catch yourself thinking, what's wrong with me? Pause and say what happened to me and how do I heal? Find some find yourself some professional support. If you haven't already, find for me. This world episode helped you understand yourself a little bit better. Please tell us your story might help someone else. New episodes drop every week. Follow us on YouTube at uh Triumph Live or follow us on all social platforms. We're pretty much everywhere almost now. Hey Storm, she came back. Yay! We missed you.
SPEAKER_00:Technical difficulties.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. You're not broken. Your nervous system is doing its job. And with understanding, compassion, and professional support, you can heal. We believe in you.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Storm, you want to do the outro?
SPEAKER_00:Well, before we go, I want to say the fact that you're listening to this episode means that you're committed to understanding yourself. That's huge. That's the foundation of healing. Your trauma responses are not your fault, remember. But your healing is your responsibility and you're capable of it. Every time you grind yourself instead of disassociating, you're healing. Every time you recognize a trigger and handle it differently, you're healing. Every time you choose compassion for yourself instead of self-blame, you're healing. This is what healing looks like. Not perfection, not never being triggered again, but showing for yourself again and again. Before we close, I want to tell you about something that happened that keeps this podcast running. Territory Trump is supported by Pilps Imperium. We offer sportswear and merchandise, t-shirts, hoodies, jerseys, hats, and other artificially creative items. When you purchase from Pilgs Imperium, anything is sell crystal, Crystal's corners. The proceeds go directly to supporting Terror to Trump. This helps us absorb the cost of running the podcast. We want to give you something tangible in returning for your support. So when you buy from us, you're not just donating, you're giving quality merchandise while helping us keep these conversations going. You can find us at www.pillimperium.com. Remember, we are all beautiful. Next week, episode 11, we'll continue conversations. We're going to talk specifically derpice and techniques that help rewire your nervous system. EMDR, Symptomatic, Experiencing Grounding Techniques. We're going to break it all down and give you practical tools you can use right now. Afonso, your final words.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you, Storm. And to everyone listening, you're not alone in this. There are millions of survivors out there doing the same work. We're all learning to rewire our brains and our nervous systems. We're all learning to trust ourselves all over again. And we're all here for each other. Understanding your trauma responses is not the end of the journey, it's the beginning. It's the moment you stop fighting yourself and start working with yourself.
SPEAKER_05:Your nervous system has been trying to protect you.
SPEAKER_01:Honor that. And not gently teach it that you're worthy of healing. You're worthy of peace, and you're worthy of love where your nervous system can finally rest. I'm Alfonso Pell. This is Terra the Triumph, and thank you for your courage. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for trusting us with your journey. We'll see you next week.
